Congratulations to the Poseys

They’re young. I bet he’s 16 and she’s 17. He’s wearing a shirt that says “sexy.” I think he made it himself. It’s quite the compliment to the faded black jeans which don’t quite fall past his ankles. Also, his hair is kind of greasy. She could use a straightener to help lessen the frizz of her shoulder length hair. It’s hot out so she’s wearing shorts, jean shorts. The musty color of her mid-calf length socks brings out her seemingly neon whiteness and her slightly shaded reading glasses give me the impression that her intelligence is of higher priority than her desire to be fashionable. He’s shorter than she is but they’re adorable. Whenever I come to Starbucks alone they’re here, cuddling in the corner of the store. They’re always touching, snuggling, smooching. They don’t talk much; just sit in each others laps and gaze into each others eyes. Usually I would be annoyed with their adolescent romance because A) their lack of conversation kind of implies that they don’t have much of a relationship outside of their physical affection and 2) I’m the creeper single lady who is secretly observing and typing about them to make myself feel better about said singleness. But instead I’m always glad to see them when I get here. They’re a cute, happy couple and are a pleasantly familiar contribution to my experience. So is my black tea lemonade (mmmmm).

My summer was full of celebrating couples with having attended many weddings. Peter and Molly Holmes, DJ and Sarah Motley, Jeremy and Jaymie Johnston, David and Kayla Hisey, I had to miss Jason and Danika Sutton's (L), and finally Michael and Ashley Posey. The Posey wedding was last night. It was so beautiful and I had so much fun. I got to help set up the reception area a bit and even helped Tayler decorate the get away car, Ryan’s little 2-door Honda. We made sure to make the car about the bride and groom but wanted to bring attention to Ryan, their still-single driver, for kicks and gigs. So we wrote “I’m just the driver,” on the window of his driver door to imply that he wasn’t getting any meant-for-marriage-kind-of-action, if you know what I mean. Ooooh and I got to dance with people I love. Though I'm not so good at it becasue my bones are the whitest, I love to dance very much.

Back before the Holmes wedding I was pretty bummed to be single, just like any 21 year old boyfriendless female. We women-folk want the attractive gentlemen to swoop us off our feet. As a Jesus-loving lady I consider marriage to be God-glorifying so I’ve wanted to embark upon the adventure ASAP. I guess I’m just at that age where the people I'm surrounded with open the door to that next stage of their lives. But I haven’t opened that door and to my surprise I’m incredibly glad. At the Posey wedding last night I had the odd revelation of this attitude. I can’t help but be thankful to Jesus for graciously answering my prayer in this way. As silly as it sounds, I started this summer afraid for this season of seeing so many people start their lives together while I continued mine by myself (when I say by myself I don’t mean it literally. I live with many incredible people and am cared for beautifully. Doxa has truly and wonderfully fulfilled my need for relationships. I just mean that I haven’t found the husband.) I've not wanted to feel lonely and blue to express the discontentment of where life has brought me. I’ve prayed hard to love my life fully and God has been incredibly incredible in allowing me to guard my heart from the darkness of loneliness (that is, the loneliness of not acquiring a fella that is my soul mate. I have been lonely otherwise; I just house sat for two weeks and that was real lonely. I was very sad.)

I guess I’m trying to communicate God’s goodness to me. My heart is so quick to be foolish and wayward but the Holy Spirit has given me the strength to push through what would usually be a hard season. Instead of bitterly recognizing the hope I should have in light of the raunchy Starbucks couple (because if they can find someone, I can find someone, right? -- I'm a jerk), I’m awkwardly filled with joy for being single. While I was sad to see Posey go on with his life and move out of our compound, I am so happy for him and his new wife and am excessively happy to not be married, myself. I hope to continue to fight for this joy as I’m sure it will soon become difficult as that’s how life goes (and also how my bipolar heart rolls). But I love being a single young lady for now. I hope to celebrate other couples well as many friends will continue to get married as I’m sure that’s what will come as the years go on. Through it all I want to live obediently to God and in love with where He’s allowing me to grow in likeness of him, whether it be forever long singleness in pursuit of adventurous ministry or the dramatic motherhood of raising twelve children whose names I cannot remember to continue my mother’s tradition of numerous offspring and a faulted memory. For now, I love Renton, Doxa Community Church, and Jesus very much and hope that the beauty of God’s grace through the gospel of Jesus Christ will be illuminated in my heart forever and ever. AAAAmen!

1082 Kirkland Ave

Doxa introduced her first public service as a 1082 Kirkland Avenue Renton, WA 98059 resident today and a good amount of people showed up to hear Pastor Brian proclaim the gospel! I was pretty encouraged by the fact that there were quite a few people who I’d not known previously to Doxa’s existence. It was nice to have a positive experience with church attendance as I’m usually bummed by the outcome of our efforts. My efforts, even, weren’t fruitful; I invited people who I’ve come to greatly care for and no one came. Though it’s painful to know that my friends aren’t responsive to the thing for which I hope for them I was so gladdened to hear Pastor Brian speak so beautifully about Jesus to the people God picked out to hear. I've been praying for them; I've been hopeful (some times more than others; discouragement comes and goes) in my desire for them to come to Doxa and to believe these truths that Brian revealed. Jake’s coworkers, in particular, have been on my mind throughout the day since having endured a church service with them. I hope for their hearts to be softened to the wonderful realities that God’s been so gracious to reveal. Jake said that one of his coworkers that came could repeat everything that Bri said. First, I’m incredibly impressed and envious of his wicked memory. Also, I’m prayerful that the gospel becomes that which compels him unto repentance in his desire to live in pursuit of God’s glory. I would love so much for him to come to Doxa and grow with us.

I have such hope for Renton. I love Doxa Community Church so much and today was such a lovely morning to see God’s church be embraced by some people who’d have never have known us if it weren’t for Doxa. I hope that He continues to bring people together as we’re incapable to do so ourselves.

Rollerblading Life Away

The drive from Maple Valley to my house in Renton is pretty awesome. Next to the highway there is a popular paved trail where people often jog, bike ride and even intensely rollerblade. I’ve seen multiple couples, all decked out in knee and elbow pads, race with angry faces. It’s quite entertaining to know that people like to flirt by rollerblading. I can’t wait to have a fella…

I’ve been house sitting in Maple Valley and have been experiencing the long drive quite often. My bank account isn’t as intrigued as I’ve spent an incredible amount of money on gas. Fuel expenses aside, it isn’t as wonderful this time (I stayed at this house last December). Six months ago I had reveled in the solitude of the practically empty house. Other than Joey Dog, I’m the only one. I felt so responsible to be maintaining a large living space by myself; the darkness of that solitude was exciting and dangerous (is it sad that that’s what I consider to be exciting and dangerous?). This beloved loneliness had harsh effects on my desire for the sharing of life with other people, an important pursuit that has become a beautiful vitality. I became significantly and wrongfully dependant on myself and my selfishness therefore flourished. Unfortunately, moving back home after two weeks was hard; it took a few months to get back to the realistic normalcy of living with other people. Because of my faulted ability to remember important things I forgot about the pain I caused my truly wonderful roommates and before considering their wisdom I agreed to living in Maple Val again. Brain and Morgan voiced their concern of my temporary living situation and because I’m a lady I was alittle offended. They didn’t have much hope for me (because they know me better than I do) and told me hard things that have made me want to prove them wrong. So I’ve fought hard to be present at my Renton house.

Yesterday was Tuesday. Tuesday Nights are Community Group Nights. So I got off work, ran to my house-sitting-house to feed Joey and let him pee then raced to my house to get there and quickly relax before the 6:30 start time. When everyone arrived we moved to the back porch to sit in the shade so the kiddos could play outside in the sun. Pastor Brian asked that we all get a pen and paper (or an iPad) to write down a letter-formatted prayer to Jesus. I don’t think I was the only one who was uncomfortable with this idea as it took a few minutes for each of us to actually start the activity. For fifteen minutes I wrote, trying to stay disciplined in my attempt to pray rather than guard my written thoughts with my hand so no one else could read what I had to say. I hadn’t needed to scribble those thoughts for too long to realize the foreign feeling of acutally praying. I felt much conviction coming before Jesus to admit that my motivation for being in a good place does not measure up with my desire to obey and glorify Him. Instead, I’ve fought to be in community for the sole reason of proving that I can house sit without spiritually regressing. Psh I’m dumb, for reals. That very intention of my heart is that which enables my spiritual regression. My efforts have been prayerless, obviously, and I’ve relied on what I consider to be my own power to do a good job of honoring my roommates while house sittin' in order to appear more selfless than last time. The nature of my heart is so willingly blinded.

Contrary to that which I considered beforehand, I’m so thankful that I had to write the letter. The Holy Spirit brought me to light of my foolishness and rememberance of the wonderful intimacy of relationship with Him. I was also able to grown in understanding of and affection for the people around me by hearing them read their letters. I had been pretty ashamed and annoyed when Brian told me to read my letter aloud but was quickly relieved when I finished and got to hear the honest words of my Doxa Family. Since planting Doxa Community Church we've been exposed to much pain, encouragement, and vulnerability unto the benefit of others and I’m overwhelmed by God’s grace in allowing me to take part, even as I so consistently choose the fatal allure of my sin.

Here’s’ to hoping for reliance on Christ through the people God has blessed me with next time there is an opportunity to house sit…

Overusing Parenthesis

Oh my goodness it’s so nice to sit down! My last twenty four hours (minus the eight of sleeping) have been quite busy. A good work shift, some exciting girl talk with my favorite lady Tayler Little, a morning of bridal shower gift shopping at the magical place that is Target, lunch with my siblings, a tiring trip to Bell Square and a drive out to Snoqualmie and back are the things that compile into my day thus far. When returning home I got to spend lots of time in the kitchen with Morgan, preparing snacks and readying our home for Ashley Hitchcock’s bridal shower. So now I sit to catch a quick break before the ladies show up.

I think I’m prone to be more pooped, if you will, since my weekend has been full of bad food and work out-less-ness. Since I started exercising a few months ago to lose some weight for the “Wedding in June!!” (my roommates will confirm my annoying pursuit of love handle lowering) as I was to be a bridesmaid, my energy levels have been kickin’ and I’ve been more eager to endure my day without a noontime nap. I’ve not found time this past week, though, to work out and/or go to Boot Camp, a twice-weekly hour long group work out session, so those levels have lessened and the double chin has grown.

Earlier today we went to lunch at Panera Bread to celebrate sister Caylene’s return from Alaska where she cared for my uncle who has been diagnosed with Lou Gehrig’s Disease

(she’s the gem of the family, I’m the bible-college-drop-out). Caylene wanted to drive to our next destination since she hadn’t driven her little Volkswagen for almost a year. Opal is the name of that Jetta and she’s rather high maintenance. Cay turned the key to unlock the doors (she’s an old vehicle and doesn’t have that high tech car remote); sure, the doors unlocked but also came an unwanted surprise: the windows rolled down. This seems normal for any given Jetta – they proudly advertise the random feature. But Opal’s windows haven’t obediently rolled down for me for months. The buttons tease me as I’d attempt to roll down the glass to appreciate the summer time breeze to flow through her leathery interior but instead she forces me to waste my fuel on raunchy air conditioning. This has happened once before and is detrimental because Opal remains unwilling to allow the windows to roll up. She has an electrical problem with the fuses (is it obvious that I know what I’m talking about?). And because Caylene found it necessary to go to the mall to get a new iPod, we had to drive, hair flyin’, to Bellevue and then on the freeway out to Snoqualmie. It made for quite a few photo ops and many laughs – Carina liked to reawaken her toddler tradition of pretending to be a dog by sticking her head out the window to keep the hair out of her face. There may or may not be  embarassing Facebook pictures to prove the unique adventure. I’m glad my sisters had fun spending the afternoon with me, but I had to drive back in that possessed car alone and my sweater was much too light to support a comfortable body temperature. I’m hopeful that one of my handy roommate fellas will remember how to rewire the car so I won’t freeze every time I drive. Until then I’ll be praying hard for rainless days.