They’re young. I bet he’s 16 and she’s 17. He’s wearing a shirt that says “sexy.” I think he made it himself. It’s quite the compliment to the faded black jeans which don’t quite fall past his ankles. Also, his hair is kind of greasy. She could use a straightener to help lessen the frizz of her shoulder length hair. It’s hot out so she’s wearing shorts, jean shorts. The musty color of her mid-calf length socks brings out her seemingly neon whiteness and her slightly shaded reading glasses give me the impression that her intelligence is of higher priority than her desire to be fashionable. He’s shorter than she is but they’re adorable. Whenever I come to Starbucks alone they’re here, cuddling in the corner of the store. They’re always touching, snuggling, smooching. They don’t talk much; just sit in each others laps and gaze into each others eyes. Usually I would be annoyed with their adolescent romance because A) their lack of conversation kind of implies that they don’t have much of a relationship outside of their physical affection and 2) I’m the creeper single lady who is secretly observing and typing about them to make myself feel better about said singleness. But instead I’m always glad to see them when I get here. They’re a cute, happy couple and are a pleasantly familiar contribution to my experience. So is my black tea lemonade (mmmmm).
My summer was full of celebrating couples with having attended many weddings. Peter and Molly Holmes, DJ and Sarah Motley, Jeremy and Jaymie Johnston, David and Kayla Hisey, I had to miss Jason and Danika Sutton's (L), and finally Michael and Ashley Posey. The Posey wedding was last night. It was so beautiful and I had so much fun. I got to help set up the reception area a bit and even helped Tayler decorate the get away car, Ryan’s little 2-door Honda. We made sure to make the car about the bride and groom but wanted to bring attention to Ryan, their still-single driver, for kicks and gigs. So we wrote “I’m just the driver,” on the window of his driver door to imply that he wasn’t getting any meant-for-marriage-kind-of-action, if you know what I mean. Ooooh and I got to dance with people I love. Though I'm not so good at it becasue my bones are the whitest, I love to dance very much.
Back before the Holmes wedding I was pretty bummed to be single, just like any 21 year old boyfriendless female. We women-folk want the attractive gentlemen to swoop us off our feet. As a Jesus-loving lady I consider marriage to be God-glorifying so I’ve wanted to embark upon the adventure ASAP. I guess I’m just at that age where the people I'm surrounded with open the door to that next stage of their lives. But I haven’t opened that door and to my surprise I’m incredibly glad. At the Posey wedding last night I had the odd revelation of this attitude. I can’t help but be thankful to Jesus for graciously answering my prayer in this way. As silly as it sounds, I started this summer afraid for this season of seeing so many people start their lives together while I continued mine by myself (when I say by myself I don’t mean it literally. I live with many incredible people and am cared for beautifully. Doxa has truly and wonderfully fulfilled my need for relationships. I just mean that I haven’t found the husband.) I've not wanted to feel lonely and blue to express the discontentment of where life has brought me. I’ve prayed hard to love my life fully and God has been incredibly incredible in allowing me to guard my heart from the darkness of loneliness (that is, the loneliness of not acquiring a fella that is my soul mate. I have been lonely otherwise; I just house sat for two weeks and that was real lonely. I was very sad.)
I guess I’m trying to communicate God’s goodness to me. My heart is so quick to be foolish and wayward but the Holy Spirit has given me the strength to push through what would usually be a hard season. Instead of bitterly recognizing the hope I should have in light of the raunchy Starbucks couple (because if they can find someone, I can find someone, right? -- I'm a jerk), I’m awkwardly filled with joy for being single. While I was sad to see Posey go on with his life and move out of our compound, I am so happy for him and his new wife and am excessively happy to not be married, myself. I hope to continue to fight for this joy as I’m sure it will soon become difficult as that’s how life goes (and also how my bipolar heart rolls). But I love being a single young lady for now. I hope to celebrate other couples well as many friends will continue to get married as I’m sure that’s what will come as the years go on. Through it all I want to live obediently to God and in love with where He’s allowing me to grow in likeness of him, whether it be forever long singleness in pursuit of adventurous ministry or the dramatic motherhood of raising twelve children whose names I cannot remember to continue my mother’s tradition of numerous offspring and a faulted memory. For now, I love Renton , Doxa Community Church
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