Good golly I’m exhausted! I even stayed in bed until 9:30 this morning but can’t shake the drowsiness. My crazy body hasn’t seemed to sleep so well lately. So bring on the shots of coffee. Actually, don’t; I hate coffee. Instead I will sip on my tall Salted Caramel Mocha (which doesn’t have too heavy of a coffee taste) to feel fall’s coziness and will fight to keep reading. I usually love reading but today I crave to allow my eyes to be lazy. I’d rather be in my bed, curled up in a blanket and watching a movie. But when I take the emotion out and consider the bigger picture I don’t suppose I’d like to waste my day completely. Only a little bit...
Sometimes fighting through things such as this seems unbearable. Sometimes I wish God would give me other struggles to work through. Sometimes I’m tired of dealing with the same things over and over again, of having to be reminded of the difficulty these things are going to be. Most of the time, I wish I didn’t have to struggle at all. I wish life could be easy. I find myself envying people who don’t realize their depravity of life without reliance on Christ because they don’t understand their need to war against their flesh. Sometimes I want to submit to my desires instead of being obedient to Christ because that’s so much easier. But when it comes down to the realization of eternity, I’m incredibly thankful that Jesus has endured the cross, that he died the death I should have so I am made able to fight the battles of life - without his having granted this strength, denying sin at all would be impossible. While today I don’t want to fight, I anticipate the tomorrow when I’m thankful for God’s beautiful gift of grace in arming me for the battle. Until that anticipation comes I’ll fight through today’s particular weakness. If anything, I’ll pray for the ability to do so.
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